Being pregnant in the world of the internet, documentaries, and media in general is hard. You can find proof for any opinion. One of my favorites was when I looked up some symptom and the possible causes were either hormones or HIV. COME ON! I could easily convince myself that I am in labor, have cancer, or am dying simply by conducting a couple Google searches.
The ironic part of my frequent searches is I go to the OB all the time. Pretty soon I even start going weekly. I could just wait to ask one of the doctors any questions or concerns that come up. Why do I feel the need to Google search everything and read tons of opinions written by people who have the free speech to write anything?
Part of it is that this is my first pregnancy and I want to know that me and the baby are fine.
The other part I am realizing, which is much more the case, is that I choose to never trust doctors. Unless they tell me what I want to hear, I blow them off and continue to search the internet.
Never before did I realize this until at my appointment yesterday. Since two of my friends have had babies in the past two weeks, it brings up more questions and what kind of birth experience I want (like I have control over it).
The doctor who I saw started the practice. He trained all the other doctors who are also there, is super easy going, and wears ties that have cartoon characters on them. Awesome.
When I began my confusing, incessant rambling, he said, "You know, there is nothing wrong with an epidural. Our philosophy of the practice is to support whatever you decide and will never try to coerce you to do anything you don't want to. My best advice is to stay flexible and we will figure things out with you as you labor. There are plenty of options for you and the baby, so we will make sure to choose the best route I promise."
This conversation pointed out a few things to me.
First, I believed that epidurals are the lesser out of other interventions.
My doctor took the time to explain how an epidural works, the myriad of options that come with an epidural, and addressed the concerns women bring up with them. The truth I learned is that they are not bad. Epidurals are actually safe for me and the baby. He told me like anything there are certainly cons, but we tend to exploit the cons over the amazing benefits the epidural offers moms with minimal to no effect on the baby. Are the cons worth talking to your doctor/midwife about? Definitely. Are they worth making blanket statements about? No.
Second, I learned that midwives are not better than doctors and doctors are not better than midwives.
Sometimes I feel the need to be defensive about going to an OB or I feel shame when people talk about why they chose a midwife. In the end, they help bring your child into the world and that is awesome. Hooray for anyone that chose to have a career that gets to be part of an amazing, life changing event.
Third, the practice I go to is trustworthy, supportive, and the right decision for us.
I feel heard, cared for, and encouraged when I leave. The nurse and doctor today got excited with me over being in the home stretch of pregnancy. The ultrasound technician smiled and complimented how cute our baby's face is at our last visit. They do this every day, all day, yet still get excited with me. I love it!
In the end, I am excited to believe that the doctors are on my side. They want to see me and the baby do well. They won't rush into a c-section or force an epidural into my back. I would bet that anyone who is a trustworthy, good obstetrician initially chose to because they are passionate about pregnancy and bringing babies into the world.
Trust your doctor or midwife. If you don't, find one that you do. Regardless of all of this, there is not one right answer for who delivers your baby or what kind of birthing experience you want. By the end, you get a beautiful new baby! Yay for babies!!!!!
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