Gwyneth Eden: Weeks 3 & 4

We are just loving life with Gwen.  At times (a lot of times) it is challenging, but we are learning a lot and starting to figure things out.

We took some family pictures with David's family over the weekend.  They turned out awesome.  Here is my favorite!

Gwen's "Firsts": She went to Bob Evans, Target, and the zoo for the first time!  Taking her to the zoo was great!  Now I know that if for some reason she refuses to sleep, I will put her in the stroller and walk around.  She was out the whole time. 

Funny Moment: Gwen really needed a bath, but we were having friends over for dinner so it was just going to have to wait.  David decided he could do it by himself and was up for the adventure.  He undressed her (no diaper) and carried her into the bathroom.  Seconds later, I hear him yell.  He walks out of the bathroom and is covered in pee!  She got his shirt and shorts!  You can't leave a diaper off that girl for any amount of time without expecting to be covered in poop or pee.

High of the Week: Cuddling and hanging out with Gwen.  I am not sure if all babies are like this, but she LOVES to be held.  She could be fussing and grunting without ceasing and as soon as you pick her up she is calm.  I love having a baby that likes to cuddle!  She is so cute!  It is really great when you are holding her after feeding her and she just smiles away.  I know it has nothing to do with me at this point, but its definitely adorable.

Low of the Week: Mastitis.... really bad mastitis!  I thought I just had a clogged duct a week ago.  I had woken up with a fever, chills, and felt achy all over.  It was miserable.  I called my doctor and she gave me a prescription since it sounded infected.  Days went by with little improvement.  I was taking ibuprofen to keep my fever away enough to where I could take care of Gwen.

When it still was not improving, I went into the office where they ordered an ultrasound to make sure I did not have an abscess.  I will not go into details about what that is or how they treat it :)  Turns out I did not!  I just needed stronger meds because that infection would not go away.  You know its bad when your doctor is shocked with how bad it is.  I currently am taking my medicine and feeling much better! 

Parenting Lesson: I guess this is a part of parenting, but I learned a valuable lesson in freezing breast milk.  You are supposed to freeze it flat!  I had been freezing it standing up.  Wow, you would never believe how much more you can cram into your freezer by freezing it the way the instructions say.

Something I Learned about Newborns: I learned that preemie babies smile more than a full term baby!  This makes a lot of sense because she is a super smiley girl.  It ends up fading and she will catch up with a full term baby.  So sad!  I love her little smiles!

Facts for the Week(s): 

Projectile poop that hit me: 0
Projectile poop that hit David: 3 or 4 :)
Gwen's weight: 6 lbs. 1 oz!
Gwen's weight percentile: 1%... she made it on the chart!
Current favorite show I watch while feeding Gwen: Cupcake Wars!

Wearing her cupcake outfit to be festive!

3 weeks old

4 weeks old

What having a Newborn is like for Me

We look so rested, relaxed, and perfect with a newborn, don't we?

Having a newborn is actually tough.  Seriously.  People told us this and explained especially how hard the first 6 weeks were.  What did I do?  Acted arrogant and like I knew everything.  Yeah, whatever, so you get a little sleep deprived!  Just sleep when the baby sleeps and you deal with it!  Right, parents?

Haha!  Oh, Stacy.

I often tell David how fun things people are doing look on Instagram or Facebook.  I suddenly want to go do all those things or hang out with those people.  Why?  Because like the article, "Stop Instagramming Your Perfect Life", explains, social media portrays a better, more desirable view point on real life.

How does this relate to having a newborn?  It makes me think I am the only one struggling.

Am I the only one who motherhood doesn't come easily?  Am I the only one who is stressed out all day?  How about wanting to throw their pump out the window? Or has no idea when their baby is hungry or simply sticking their tongue out because she is about to puke all over me?

No, I am not.  I let myself believe I am the only one who has no idea what they are doing because I compare myself to what others are doing based on their pictures and how their life appears.

I know they struggle and that they also are stressed out.  You go from 0 to 100 instantly.  There are no days off or even hours off.  It is all the time and that WILL wear you down.  It doesn't matter how much exposure to newborns you have had.  You probably have never taken care of one every day, all day with your hormones out of control.

Now, I love my baby girl.  She is the cutest baby ever.  Yes, I am biased.  I think its cute when she sneezes, sleeps with her hands behind her head, and I even think its pretty cute when she smells.  I am sure the last one will fade :)

So, if you wonder if you are the only one struggling you aren't.  I am.  There is a grace for all that.  There is grace for when I don't want to give Gwen a bottle because when she spits up it makes me stressed.  There is grace for when I don't want to even try breastfeeding because I am afraid I will fail.  There is grace for when my iPhone falls on her.  Don't judge me.  She is fine!

When you see or read about her, know that our life is no where near perfect.  I am doing the best I can, but it won't ever be perfect.

Look at these pictures for instance.

Look how much fun we have taking pictures!  Just kidding.  These pictures came out of trying to cheer me up because shortly before this I was crying about feeling guilty and like I didn't measure up.

Be encouraged that you are doing the best you can and that is all you can do.  It is ok if parenting looks "easier" on other people.  We all know there is nothing easy about it. The good news is having a baby is awesome regardless of the work and mental breakdowns.  Gwen is a blessing and we love her!

I am not complaining and this is not a "cry for help".  I am just letting you other moms know that I have a hard time like you and I only have one kid who is 3 weeks old.  

I will leave you with this picture.  

This is us doing the best we can.  Babies aren't supposed to sleep with extra bedding, but she spits up constantly.  I don't want to have to wash the padding on her Rock 'n Play so I improvised.

Gwyneth Eden: Weeks 1 and 2

Phew! I can't believe this little girl has been here for 2 weeks already! She is such a sweetheart.

I thought I would have more time for blogging and writing updates, but it turns out a newborn, especially a preterm newborn, requires some time! Hopefully once we get out bearings things like writing can happen more often.

Gwen's "Firsts": Well, she had had her first time doing a lot of things like crying, having breast milk, getting her diaper changed.  Some of my favorites are the first time I heard her hiccup and sneeze. Adorable. 

Funny Moment: David left to go do laundry. It was my first time taking care of Gwyneth by myself. I noticed her diaper was dirty so I prepared to change her. Well, I found out the hard way this girl has projectile poop. A poop covered arm, stained carpet, and 4 diapers later, we tackled that poopy diaper. Good thing I was able to laugh or else there may have been a melt down.

High of the Week: Other than her being born, bringing her home was amazing. To be in our own territory and learn how to take care of her in our space was so freeing. We didn't have certain standards to try and meet. We could sleep in our own bed, have significantly more space, and best of all, no one was checking on us 24/7. We love having our sweet girl home!

Low of the Week: Learning how to breastfeeding a preterm baby. As if breastfeeding wasn't hard enough, having a baby a month early adds significantly more challenges. Currently I am not able to and must pump then give her a bottle. It is exhausting and frustrating to say the least. I hope that in a couple weeks we can try and give breastfeeding a chance. If I am honest, I feel like I am missing out. I know for right now I am doing the best thing I can for her, but it is still hard for me to accept.

Parenting Lesson: Always have the next diaper ready. I have been told this and didn't listen. Lesson learned.

Something I Learned about Newborns: They make a TON of noise. Sometimes she grunts without ceasing for hours. Sometimes she hiccups. Sometimes she sounds like a cat. This girl is always making noise... Especially between 12:00 am and 4:00 am :)

Facts for the Week(s): 

Gwyneth's Birth Weight: 4.4 oz

Days in Hospital: 5

Days until David is Back at Work: 3 :(

Total Weight Gwen has Gained: 7 oz

Google Searches Containing the Word "Grunting": infinite

1 week

2 weeks

Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 3

10 cm!  What?!  We were told that once you reach 5 cm, it is normally a centimeter an hour.  This would have put us at 3:00 am, not 10:45 pm!

That was the reason I was in pain.  She was moving down and in ready position!

Katie sat me up and to allow for the baby to drop even lower and prepare to push.  The cart of delivery tools and who knows what else was wheeled in and set up.  I chose to not look at this cart.  Seeing scalpels and weird looking birthing instruments would not be beneficial!

Shortly after, Dr. Choi and at least 5 other nurses came in.  At this time it was around 11:30 pm.  I had no idea what to expect for the pushing portion of delivery.  Some women I knew pushed for hours while others could have simply coughed and their baby would have flew out.  An oxygen mask was put on my face to help me breathe.  This actually just freaked me out and it kept sliding into my eye.  I would have breathed much more effectively without it!

It was then time to push and meet our baby girl!

I was instructed in how to push and breathe.  I could not focus and figure out what they wanted me to do.  Do you take a deep breath and then hold it and push?  Do exhale while pushing?  How do you hold your breathe for that long and have the energy to push?

These were all the things running through my mind, but could not ask.  They were telling me to push so I just went with it!  The first couple pushes were not effective at all.  With lots of people giving me directions,  I could not figure it  Dr. Choi then said the baby's heart rate was dropping and they would use a vacuum to get her out as soon as possible.

That was all I needed!  You tell me my baby's heart rate is dropping and I will figure out this pushing thing real fast!  Two more pushes with the assist of the vacuum and the baby was out!

At 11:52 pm on May 31, Gwyneth Eden came into the world. 

For arriving 4 weeks early, doctors have been astonished by how well she has been doing.  She spent no time in the NICU.  She is just a small baby!  We are so in love with this little girl!

Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 1
Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 2

Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 2

 We walked and found our labor and delivery room.  Since we were both not thinking correctly, we forgot to check in at the desk and instead went straight to the room.

After 30 minutes, the nurse came in and said she had been looking for us!  Sorry nurse, we had absolutely no idea how to follow directions at that point.  We just waited in the room for awhile.  It was nice to have some time alone to process what was about to happen.  I had to get my mind around that I soon would have contractions, push a baby out, and then officially have a daughter.

At 4:30 p.m., I was started on pitocin.  We figured we would be in for a long ride and tried to rest before the contractions really started.

From this point on, they would increase my pitocin.  Each time the nurse would come in and ask how I was coping with the pain.  I was in mild pain, but still coping very well.  They warned me that things would get much more painful, but I thought I was handling the pain great!  I had no idea what I was in for :)

At 6:15, Dr. Choi came in to break my water.  From others' experiences, I knew this would intensify the contractions.  I explained to the doctor that I had this fear through pregnancy that my water would break and I would have no idea.  Everyone laughed when I said this and reassured me that you would definitely know.  Sure enough, she broke my water and there is no way you wouldn't be able to know.  There is a WHOLE lot of water that baby swims in for 40 weeks!  At this point I was 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced.

Up until my water broke, the contractions were gaining in their pain level.  I still felt calm and confident that I could work through them just fine.  I would hold David's hand, close my eyes, and get through each one as they came.

I had no idea it was about to get way worse.

By 7:00, David timed my break in between contractions to be about 1 minute.  It was starting to get harder to make it through.  The pain had set in much more after my water had broken.  At this time, I was moaning and in a severe amount of pain.  Shifts had just changed and we got a new nurse, Katie.  She would end up becoming a huge blessing through the whole process.

Katie could see how much pain I was in and asked if I was interested in an epidural.  I explained that I wanted to see how long I could make it without one (side note: this was a terrible decision).  I was in a lot of pain, much more than I had ever experienced, but I was making it through.  At this point I was 3 cm and 80% effaced.  Again, I wanted to try and make it farther than this.

David coached me through breathing and relaxing with each contraction.  On the monitor, he could tell they were only getting stronger and closer together.  Katie suggested other ways to help with the pain other than sitting in the bed.  We prepared to walk around the hallway to progress labor more quickly.  As soon as I stood up I hated the idea of this.  Walking around would not provide relief for me.

She then got a birthing ball for me to try.  As soon as she got it set up and I sat on the ball, my break down happened.  I had lost all hope in fighting through the contractions.  I began thinking there was no way I could handle not even one more.  This caused me to panic because I knew we had a while to go still.  I starting crying and crying and crying.  I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to make it farther without an epidural, but also could not stand the pain.  I would have done anything to make it stop.  David told me he could see I was not doing well and thought this would be a good time for the epidural.  I agreed and our nurse walked us through our options and how it would be given.

At 9:30, David left the room and I got the epidural.  Katie was amazing during this time.  Since David was not there to help me through the contractions, she had her hands on my shoulders the whole time reassuring me that I was doing great and just to breathe.  The epidural seemed to take forever, but I was so relieved to have the pain slowly going away.

At 9:45, I was at 5 cm.  My contractions were overlapping each other and coming on far too strong, so Katie stopped the pitocin.

I thought this would be the time I would get to take a nap, relax, and have that warm and cozy feeling.  The problem was I was still in a lot of pain.  It was so much pain that I was still working through each contraction.  At this point, I should not have been feeling pain, only pressure.  I asked Katie if they could increase the epidural to provide me some relief.  She first tried turning me from side to side.  I had a lot of pain on my right side and she was not sure if the medicine was reaching it.  After an hour of trying to provide some relief and no success, she checked to see how dilated I was...

I was 10 cm.  She could feel the baby's head.

Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 1
Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 3

Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 1

Gwyneth Eden Schuchter joined our family on May 31, 2013!  Here is part 1 of the story!

On Friday, May 31, I had a doctors appointment and ultrasound.  Since I had been measuring small, my doctor wanted to make sure she started gaining more weight.

It was going to be a busy day and lots of running around.  I had dance recital rehearsal and a wedding that night.  Since there was so much running from place to place, David was not sure he would go with me to the appointment.  He decided in the end to go with me.

Since we had a wedding to go to, we made sure to bring a nicer change of clothes and I of course did my hair and make up more fancy than usual.  We kept forgetting things when trying to get out the door and David had to make an extra trip from the car to get all the things I left behind.

After all this rushing around, on the way to the appointment I told David, "Wouldn't it be hilarious if for some reason we show up and they want to induce me?  Then all of the rushing around wouldn't have mattered at all!"

We show up to the appointment and go in for the ultrasound.  The technician explained that she was measuring even smaller and this time was in the 6th percentile.  The baby weighed approximately 4 lbs. 13 oz.  The technician thought that she would just end up being small and the doctor may ask me to start coming in twice a week.  This set our expectation and so we didn't think much of it.

Shortly after, we went into the room for our appointment.  The doctor came back and immediately said, "I think today would be a good day to have a baby.  The baby is not gaining weight and we begin to worry when anything falls below the 10th percentile."

Everything for awhile after this became a blur.  I wanted to burst into tears.  Just the day before I was telling everyone that I was no where near ready to have the baby because I did not feel mentally prepared.  Now I am being told that I will be induced.  I knew my doctor was right because he is notorious for his laid back, low intervention approach, but I did not know how to react.  The doctor continued to explain that I would be taken to triage and monitored to make sure this was the best call.  The doctor on call would make the final decision.

I asked who was on call.  Guess who it was?  The only doctor we had not met yet.  Again, I started to get more nervous and closer to the point of breakdown.  I had heard Dr. Choi was very kind and sweet, but it would have been nice to meet her prior to all of this.

A wheel chair was brought over and David and I set out for triage.

Once we arrived they gave me a hospital bracelet and asked us to wait in the waiting room for Dr. Choi.  She wanted to look over the ultrasounds and make sure inducing me was the answer.  I couldn't think straight or concentrate on anything. They gave us directions for where to go and I couldn't remember the first step.  David asked me what we needed to get from home and the only thing I could of is the car seat.  My brain felt cloudy and I was in a daze.  The shock of it all left me speechless.  I felt completely out of control.

A few weeks earlier I sensed that we should view labor as an opportunity to trust God.  Whatever this looked like, we would make our decision and choose to orient ourselves towards Him.  Looks like feeling out of control left me in the perfect place to choose to trust.

We were called into a room where we met Dr. Choi.  She explained that she also agreed that inducing was the best answer for the health of the baby.  They wanted to see how dilated I was since this would determine if I would be started on pitocin or cervidil.  I was 1 cm. which was enough for pitocin.  From the stories I have heard, that was great!

They gave us directions for how to find our labor and delivery room.  Looks like we would not be at any dance recitals or weddings.  We were having a baby!

Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 2
Birth Story of Gwyneth Eden: Part 3

Gwyneth Eden Schuchter

Introducing Gwyneth Eden Schuchter!

4 lbs 4 oz
18 1/4 in.

Our sweet girl was born May 31, 2013 at 11:52 pm.

I am working on writing the whole birth story, but until then, here are some fun pictures!

Getting checked out!

Daddy!

Karis meeting her new friend.

Crazy faces

We love her little grin

37 week bump picture :)